If I could stand in front of my 16 year old self and tell her that I was educating others on sex and relationships through my own podcast, which I have founded myself and on social media platforms, that I have found my sexual identify and that I am pursuing my RSE accreditation, she would probably break down.
My empowerment and desire to educate others on sex education derives from the sex shaming I experienced as a young girl.
As someone who discovered BDSM and hard-core sex scenes at a young age and openly spoke about her interests to the wrong people, I was shamed for my interests by girls and approached sexually by boys.
Girls saw me as a sex pest, they had denied masturbating or enjoying sex openly in friend circles and saw me as this 'unladylike' sex-obsessed teen because I admitted that I masturbated and spoke about my interest in BDSM.
Boys would approach me believing that because my mind and soul was open, so were my legs and that is where I learnt that the male gaze exists. If I rejected these boys, they would turn against me like the girls. I couldn't win, even when I did try to educate them on what it was exactly that I enjoyed or identified with, they would use it against me.
I have vivid memories of people making meowing noises towards me or bondage jokes because they knew I was into Pet-play (at the time). I realized at this age, that a woman who expresses herself sexually is shunned by her female peers and seen as a goal by her male ones.
Through many years of educating myself, building a shield of knowledge to defend my sexual experiences and interest in sex, I decided to take it further with a podcast at my university and now, that small podcast is growing online.
Now, those people who shunned me are coming to me for advice. They are engaging with my content and learning.
I do not want an apology from those bullies, I want to educate them and others.
I want to give every young teen a shield of knowledge to protect themselves from bullying in relation to their sexual identity and desires.
I have become and continue to become a strong, liberated womxn and I want to give those tools which I learnt on my own, to those like 16 year old me.
My advice for those in similar situations, education and knowledge is power. It is your shield, your sword and your superpower.
Check out Demi's work at Soft Limit here!